DISCLAIMER: This article contains adult language, sorry no nudity. Do not read if you are easily offended, or worse yet if you are a fan Donald J. Trump. I’m very critical of him, and I enjoy calling him all sorts of nasty names. Also, it is 2,678 words long, so if you have attention span issues, don’t bother.

So we’ve made it past the first 100 days of a this White House, and some would say rather miraculously considering everything that’s been going on. I was always concerned, even worried about the effects of what this new president’s insensitive and uninformed rhetoric would be in an already complicated world. I even wrote back in November of last year, expressing my fears that the ” Cheeto Von Tweeto ” could get us in a nuclear war with North Korea or China. Thankfully it has not happened, yet. Unfortunately he still has about 1,300 days left to prove me right.

You will notice on this article that I avoid mentioning his name at all cost.  Like people in the theater who never say “Hamlet”, instead always referring to it as the “Scottish Play”. In my case however, it’s not coming from a superstitious motivation, although I have to admit, that just in case, I will not say his name three times in a row, from fears that he will Beetlejuice my ass, magically appearing before me, just to call me a rapist. But no, the reason that I will not mention his name, is simply because I’m sick of hearing it myself. Therefore if you are like me, in the sense that I would rather have hot-lead poured right into my ear canal, than have to hear him proclaim again and again, about how “he knows the best words”. If you share some of my disgust on the policies and views of the “Don” or, as Jon Stewart calls him, “Fuckface Von Clownstick”, rest assured that I will not subject you to endure it anymore either. Plus I have this odd feeling that every time he knows people are talking about him, he has a dusty orgasm all over his old man diapers.


To some extent, I can gladly report that the “Orange Troll Doll”, has not been able to accomplish a number of his disastrous proposals that he set out to do in his first one hundred days. Even though he has been spreading more ink than a panic stricken octopus. Trying to sign everything that will undo anything enacted by his predecessor from combating global warming, to the Affordable Care Act. Actually, besides nominating Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court, and a whole lot of golf trips down to Florida, he hasn’t done anything substantial. Perhaps the controversial bombing of Syrian chemical installations, that Assad was using to rain toxic shit on his own people. This the only thing, I could consider that was not just due, but necessary. Not to give him credit, cause I don’t, not even a little bit. I believe that if he ends up doing anything for the betterment of others will be accidental and incidental. So I do indeed think this one might end up doing more good than bad, ’cause it will not only keep Assad from killing more of his countrymen, along with their wives, kids and even pets, and even if this proves to be only temporarily, it could save a lot of lives. But also, might work as a sort of deterrent, in the sense that it tells all the geniuses on the other side, Putin, Kim Jong Un, and Bashar Al Assad, that he is not just acting like he is stupid and crazy, he really is, stupid and crazy! I personally would not want to fuck with a guy that I know has a bunch of guns, and happens to be stupid and crazy.


Apparently the “Screaming Cheeto” was blindsided by the fact that he can´t run the U.S. Government like one of his companies, since in this business of government, the boss sometimes has to get permission from middle management. He is slowly going to find that not everything he tweets at 3.am is going to get done just because he said so. I’m forever grateful for the “checks and balances” the founding fathers put in place when they had a nagging feeling that in the year 2017 an “Orange Fucksicle” would be president. This is the only thing that can keep this “Cheeto with Hair” from making himself an Emperor.

He promised to “drain the swamp”, instead he’s gathered his own brand of racist pests, and rich white parasitic vermin to replace the empty spaces created on the very swamp with just emptied. This is the part that worries me the most, not surprisingly he appointed Jeff Sessions, a racist southern Gollum to be Attorney General. Who by the way during his time in Congress, was considered the most conservative member of the U.S. Senate. A senator who opposed both legal and illegal immigration, who was dead set on fighting amnesty in all its forms, and was vehemently opposed to blacks having civil rights in the south. And if you wondered where the two brilliant minds melted into one, was when “Cinnamon Hitler” found out, that Sessions from way back, supported the expansion of the border fence with Mexico. He has attracted, real dick-heads like Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who was fired for his continued unconstitutional harassment of Latinos in Arizona, or Governor of Maine Paul LaPage, of whom you could write a whole article on the history of his racist behavior.

As I write this, the “Zen Master of Hate” just fired James Comey from the FBI, this is highly unusual since he is supposed to serve a ten year tenure that started only three years ago, this kind of thing has not happened since Bill Clinton was trying to hide a blow-job or something from the public. The “Tinny Handed Tyrant”, is trying to dupe anyone outside of his carefully cultivated base, and the list of Republican “usual suspects, that this move has nothing to do with the investigation into Russia meddling with the elections, his ties to Russian interests, and how many of his staffers have been compromised, and all to do with Comey having lost the confidence of members of the bureau because of his conduct in the Hillary email-election fiasco. This is how bad it’s gotten, we live in a time when the public is expected to believe the obscene degree of bullshit that comes out his stupid pouting maw.

Some democrats are glad Comey got canned, because; they think he deserves it, for reopening the investigation on Hillary’s emails right before the elections, thus creating some confusion on that small, but rather stupid segment of the population that somehow were still on the fence, in a race that in spite of the insults and the pussy grabbing, amazingly was still tight. So I say yes, maybe he deserved to have his house egged by every Democrat alive or dead. My concern is what kind of puppet the “Baby Dictator” is going to nominate for his replacement. Especially when there’s a pending investigation on the “Russia-Papaya Face” connection.


There currently seems to be a global slide into autocracy and fascism, a shift into a world model like the modern Russian model, where power is controlled by one entity supported by oligarchs and yes men, where human rights, individual liberties and freedom of expression are hard to come by, or non-existent. There is a playbook on how to accomplish this, and the “Chunky Totalitarian” has it. It’s time we get a copy, and do some reading.

It depresses me to think how easy Russia managed to interfere with the elections seriously eroding the confidence in the concept of western democracy, even among westerners. Undoubtedly this is just a small part of Putin’s long term plan of world domination. Although getting even with Hillary, and others who criticized him and his dictatorial version of democracy, was just the icing on the cake.

This behavior of interfering with elections all over the world will continue. And why not? So far it’s been proven to work. Cyber attacks in Ukraine, Bulgaria, Estonia, Germany, France, Austria and the United Kingdom that investigators attributed to Russian hackers, appeared aimed at influencing election results, sowing discord and undermining faith in public institutions that included government agencies, the media, and elected officials. This propaganda manipulation and systematic misinformation by Putin sponsored hack groups like APT-28, otherwise known as Fancy Bear have been very successful. That is until recently during France’s elections when they tried to do to Macron what they did to Hillary, releasing a whole bunch of bogus stuff right before the voting started. I thank the heavens and all the little angels who live in it, that the French did not succumb to the ass-load of cyber bullshit launched by Russian hackers.

And while it became a resounding rejection of Marine Le pen’s xenophobic far right, in favor of centrist Emmanuel Macron, who won on a landslide, it still troubles me that there is 33% of people who would vote for a Fascist woman, born in a racist household, who wanted to fracture whatever little is left of the European Union by tearing at the little bit of fabric still holding it together. A woman I can only categorize as the female, French version of the “Short-Fingered Vulgarian” currently running the White House.

If you don’t think the Russians are contributing to the systematic fracturing and polarization in all these countries, the Brexit fiasco, and the shit-storm that inevitably is still to follow, as well as helping put the “Racist Carrot Cake” in the white House, you’re an ostrich.

With the “Megalo-Mango” in control of both the House, and Senate, the Attorney General and now the FBI, just add a state sponsored media, while controlling and censoring all other forms of media and web content… If we don’t watch it, these guys are going to make the boys of the Third Reich, look like an unorganized gaggle of idiots.

It’s important to mention that we do take hope from France’s example, that in spite of Vladimir and his goons at Fancy Bear, coupled with the climate of insecurity and fear being peddled by the far right. And regardless of being directly and repeatedly targeted for terrorist attacks, still 66% of them opted to be brave and kind in the face of such horror. I thank Vishnú, Buddha, Jesus, or whoever is manning the phones today, for the fact that at least the French have the ability to read between the lines.


Due to the obvious lack of ethics, and blatant conflicts of interest in the current White House, from Kellyanne Conway doing infomercials for Ivanka’s Chinese Imports on the news networks that are not yet sick of hearing all the “alternate facts” coming out of her ass. The extra cost to taxpayers for all the trips to Florida and all the security detail this entails, just so the “Cheeto in Chief” can hit a few balls into the water traps. As well as his devil spawn still in control of his interest, all the way to Jared Kushner’s sister promising visas to Chinese citizens who would invest on the “Cheeto Bandito” brand.

Thankfully and because of these “indiscretions”, all of them are now being subject like never before to close scrutiny from the OCE, or Office of Congressional Ethics, as well as all his other detractors, whom are many; the media, every Democrat that has wet dreams of impeachment, or the constituency that now feel they were lied to, or the ones like me that would just simply want him to shut the hell up and be put in his place. This could mean that Ivanka won’t get away with “architecting” the Washington National Mall, into an actual mall where she can sell her stupid bags and scarfs made in China. I’m not a practicing Christian. But isn’t this the part where Jesus comes and kicks the shit out of everybody at the market?

Don’t get me wrong, I believe it would be far less damaging if the “Orange Kanye” spent the remainder of his thirteen hundred days or so, pitching shifty real estate in Florida, and playing bad golf, and leave governing to the grownups.

If I could grasp at rhetorical straws that would give me some measure of hope, there are signs that some of his base is having buyer’s remorse already, but most importantly, as I mentioned before the system of checks and balances put in place by those guys in Capri pants and the wigs, who had the incredible foresight, to envision a time in the future when an “Angry Pumpkin” would want to be king of the world. I can see clearly that if they keep the pressure on him, and continue to do what it takes to frustrate him every time he wants to blow his nose on The Constitution, eventually these efforts will have an inevitable effect of eroding at his power and confidence to enact anymore of his narrow-minded “dumb-assery”.

More importantly, what seems to be the eminent loss in 2018 of Republican seats for the house and senate, will further frustrate his efforts to be the dreamy dictator he always wanted to be. All those spineless and unscrupulous Republicans who tend to go along with everything he says in the hopes that they would get a whiff of his burger infused farts on a flight to Mar-A-Lago will start to jump ship.

In closing, I have to mention that I am a second generation expatriate, the son of an American woman that moved to Mexico before I was even born. And while I was raised in Mexico, I’m sure you can tell by my relative fluidity in the English language, I’m as bicultural as they come. Although I lived in Mexico most of my life, I’ve always loved North American things, and North American people. I have a daughter who was born in Texas, I wear Levi’s, I drive a Jeep, and ride a Harley, but I have a strong Mexican identity as well. I consider myself blessed to know and understand the best of both cultures. But this administration is peddling a negative, narrow-minded, and divisive view of both our countries. It chooses to ignore all the things that binds us in partnership through years of commercial and cultural ties. Deliberate and efficiently conceived populism created in an effort to distract and appease the popular anger for previous errors in governing. The scapegoat this time, is a bunch of Latinos whose only fault is that they are willing to leave their homelands to seek a better life, usually doing the things that most spoiled whites wouldn’t do anyway if they got paid twice as much.

The accusations that we are bringing crime are false since statistically is proven that the vast majority of immigrants are less likely to commit crimes than the native population, and while drug smuggling is a real problem, this would stop the minute the consumption is controlled. But that would imply looking in the coke covered mirror and making more difficult and fundamental changes, rather than just blaming a bunch of Mexicans for delivering them.

The divisions created by the propaganda merchants, absorbed and  propagated by that racist segment of the population who feel emboldened by having an “Irate Orangutan” in the White House, all they  do is widen the chasm between two long time friends and partners. This form of rhetoric is not compatible with my operating system, but as an outsider all I can do is watch and hope that the majority of Americans develop the ability to “sort the wheat from the chaff”.

In the meantime, and because if I go up there, they are bound to find out on my Facebook page about all the names I used for the “Tangerine Hemorrhoid”, they’ll be likely to put me on a flight to Guantanamo instead. So no more Levis, no more Harleys, and no more trips to the U.S. until some semblance of sanity is restored up there.

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to recieve the best of The Travellers Post directly to you inbox. 

(We will only email you once a week with a selection of our best articles)

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This